


Where the home is

by Gelsomina



Category: NewS (Band), Tegomass
Genre: Fluff for the people, M/M, Savior Masuda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 16:29:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11017188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gelsomina/pseuds/Gelsomina
Summary: Tegoshi suffers from nightmares and runs into the only arms available.





	Where the home is

_A land he’s never walked, air that’s thick and rots his lungs, sky that’s sickly green like polluted surfs or sewage._

 

As Tegoshi snaps awake he feels like choking. He’s covered in sweat, while the freezing cold makes him hoard the blankets over him. Weakness he doesn’t want to welcome, and that he believes will pass if he keeps from moving a muscle. But the silently ticking seconds make it worse. It feels as if he remains stuck in the nightmare, now roaming the world fully conscious. Tegoshi squeezes the pillow between his legs, and pulls the covers over his head to feel safer.

 

The air underneath gets very thin in only minutes. Tegoshi tries to make an outlet to breathe through, and he slowly drifts back to sleep in the safety of his nook. He enters the same dream from before, and witnesses the gray, dystopian buildings, and the people in iron armors for the second time.

 

Tegoshi forces himself awake with a sob when scary figures approach him, and he crawls up in an instant. It doesn’t matter if the room is cold and the darkness threatening, and he shudders all the way to his hotel suite’s door. Koyama’s room, he needs to find Koyama’s room, the thought of nestling against the other his only comforting thought. Pride means little when his sanity is at stake. In the corridor it dawns on him he does not know the way, he can’t remember the number written on Koyama’s key card.

 

Helplessness comes next, and he trembles a while in the aisle without a destination in mind. He can’t go back, and as he starts listing other available options a faint smile appears at his lips. When they signed in, he and Massu joked briefly over their rooms that were directly one upon the other. Tegoshi had said he’ll be ear against the floor listening to Masuda’s secret activities, and Masuda had threatened to bang the ceiling with a broom. Though Masuda isn’t the person he wants to encounter in a state of vulnerability, scared and ready to pee himself for one loud noise around the corner, he starts skipping down the stairs. As long as there is even one safe haven.

 

His knock on Masuda’s door is feather-light. Surprisingly, Masuda cracks his door open shortly and Tegoshi doesn’t have to start hammering. “Tegoshi?” he asks in disbelief, eyes dropping to his partner’s underwear and lower to his bare feet. Even if Tegoshi doesn’t care for proper etiquette, coming without slippers or yukata is still odd. Tegoshi looks dirty, too, like he hasn’t washed up after today’s concert but went straight to bed. Masuda lets him in without inquiries, and Tegoshi enters without a thank you. Tegoshi avoids eye-contact and tries to act normal despite his grubby appearance that screams something’s off. Talented reading each other’s gestures and body language, Masuda doesn’t pay attention to what Tegoshi wishes to keep concealed. He returns to his armchair, shopping channel open on the television screen.

 

Tegoshi isn’t scolded for moving to Masuda’s bed, and with a sense of security he curls up in the untouched blankets. It’s nearing three in the morning but Masuda doesn’t seem nowhere close to falling asleep himself. The distant noise of the television is soothing, and Tegoshi smiles secretly into the sheets when Masuda considerately turns the volume lower. It feels nice, but the former terrors still have stronger grip on him. As Tegoshi falls into the state between wakefulness and sleep, he’s still shaking. He tries to keep as still as in his own bed, hoping not to worry Masuda or give away how frightened he in reality is.

 

What he thinks is just small harmless fidgeting, in Masuda’s eyes looks as serious as it is. Tegoshi keeps writhing quietly, rustling the sheets in turns between his legs and into his fists. Masuda eyes the bed from the side, following whether the restlessness will stop on its own, if Tegoshi will drift into a peaceful dream. Though the minutes drag on without a change for the better, Tegoshi asks no help. Deciding to act on his own, based on what his gut feeling tells him, Masuda switches the television off and gets up. He moves next to the bed; shift Tegoshi isn't aware of with his eyes closed and mind flooded with disturbing pictures. He barely notices the mattress dip as Masuda climbs beside him.

 

“Is everything okay?” Masuda murmurs, and Tegoshi shifts more toward consciousness. His head shakes stubbornly, his body curling up to be less of a bother. Pleading for care and attention is easy when he does it only to act bratty, when he could do things effortlessly on his own too. When he actually is in need of little aid, it’s harder to turn spoiled and helpless. Masuda knows this without saying, and forces his considerateness with subtle gestures. He reaches for Tegoshi’s forehead, and strokes the crumples on his temple until they smoothen. He wipes off the cold sweat, and strokes Tegoshi’s hair back tenderly, tucking the strands behind his ear though they’re too short to remain there.

 

“Would you like a glass of water?”

 

Tegoshi nods to this, letting his eyes slowly open. It feels unbearably cold the instant Masuda shifts away to get him a drink, and he sits up to watch after his partner, just in case the space will swallow him and prevents him from returning. Tegoshi has slipped half under the covers when Masuda comes back, steadying the full to the brim water glass. Tegoshi takes it with both hands, and Masuda makes sure it reaches his lips before his own grip loosens.

 

It’s surprising Masuda doesn’t use harsh words. That he doesn’t show indifference, huff in annoyance or puff in anger. He’s all those happy smiles he shows off to fans, all the tender looks he gives to girls. It’s heartwarming, and truly pacifies him. Koyama would’ve offered him tight hugs and pitying words which would’ve felt lovely, but he thinks the calmness Masuda radiates is even better remedy to his fears and insecurities. No excessive pampering, just few right words and simple acts of kindness.

 

Tegoshi doesn’t feel timid anymore, and leans against Masuda’s side when his glass is empty. Masuda takes it to the bedside table before snuggling in closer, a secure arm wrapping around Tegoshi’s shoulders. This time Tegoshi enters new dreams when his eyes close, Masuda’s thumb rubbing his arm ensuring no more boogie-men will capture him. It seems to be just what Masuda needs to beat his own insomnia, as they both turn limp and feeble within the next hour, and lay beside each other in perfect calmness.

 

 

The following morning they have slumped lower and glided further inside the blankets. They wake up curled around each other, Masuda’s hand possessively held against Tegoshi’s chest. His nose nestles between Tegoshi’s shoulder blades, puffing hot air against his skin that radiates back and warms him. Tegoshi’s eyes open first, but his increased heartbeats quickly pull Masuda awake from his tranquility. They both shift, but not further from each other. They search for more comfortable position, enjoying the closeness which is only natural as long as they keep their mouths tightly shut and don’t look at each other.

 

Masuda breaks the seal first, but does it so they can keep on pretending this could happen to them every morning. _“Feeling better?”_

 

“Yeah,” Tegoshi replies with sleep in his voice, hugging Masuda’s arm closer. “Thanks,” he smiles, pressing his face against the back of Masuda’s palm, the touch of his lips almost like a kiss. Masuda remains unbothered, and only stretches out his free hand with an obvious smile over his own face. _“_ _No problem_ _.”_

 

It sounds like a permission to stay over anytime Tegoshi will feel threatened by his own mind. Or just anytime, Tegoshi wants to think.


End file.
